Kiss

I wonder how does a kiss tastes like? Not to say I'm complaining... I just feel a little bit lonely not being able to experience it throughout my whole 18 years of life. Well, I did tried kissing a guy just a couple of months ago. But it was just a light touch on the lips, it happened so quickly with my heart pumping hard on my chest. Even though we kissed, we're still friends. Currently, we're nowhere near becoming lovers with that happening. I can't seem to imagine us becoming more than friends due to his attitude. I guess he just wants to remain as a good friend? I can't stop feeling down whenever I think about it. But even so, I can't give up on him no matter how I try. He will be leaving for UK next year, we don't have much time to spend together anymore. Unless I future my studies in UK, which will take me 2 years to do that. I don't mind taking it slow, but it seems like we're not progressing at all. I just hope that some day we'll end up together, even if it is highly impossible...

Here I am complaining about him again, I really shouldn't do this anymore, it's turning me into an idiot who carves for love and attentions. Sigh, I sincerely wish that he won't occupy my entire mind.

Memory Loss

Where am I? Why am I here?? Who am I??? There's nothing but melted ice surrounding me in this deep dark cave with nothing but the moonlight barely shining through the tiny hole to allow me see. Nothing in this cave can be serve as an information about myself. It should be cold in this cave without warmth at night, but my body doesn't feel cold and shivers as a normal person should be. Who am I? What am I?? Feeling uneasy about everything, I slowly walked towards the exit of the cave. After I exits the cave, a wide range of forest came into my sight. I can't seems to see anything other trees, the moon and countless bright stars.

From the information I gathered, I was most probably trapped in ice in a cave mountain far away from humans or any other form of living being with intelligence. But why am I trapped here? Who did this to me? No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't recall anything, I can't get my memories back. I felt very lost, I had no idea what should I do and where should I go. What am I gonna do from now on?      

First

This is the first time I ever felt this way. This feeling is so unfamiliar to me, it’s so different from what I know. My emotions get affected so much it hurts. It’s suffering to just sit there and wait. My head is filled with nothing but you.

When I finally gathered up my courage and asked, you couldn't give me a satisfying answer. “Let’s just be friends and see how it goes”, that’s all you said. What am I supposed to do with this feeling of mine? Should I bury my feelings and remain as your good friend? Should I keep my feelings with me and wait for the day that might not come? What can I do to keep my heart clam and satisfy you at the same time? I have no idea what to do anymore. As I’m still deciding what to do, we slowly grew more and more like friends. 

You might not realise this but my heart sinks at the thought of my life without you. This might just be a feelings of a childish young girl, dreaming for a perfect love story. But I know that this feeling is real, and that I can’t help but to yearn for you. I want to be close to you, to feel the heat of your body, to hear your voice close to me, to understand you more each day. I can’t describe this feeling properly but I hope that my feelings get through you and that you feel the same. I can’t hide this feeling, nor do I want to hide it. I just hope that we will someday be together. Maybe we can’t be a perfect couple, but I believe that we can be a sweet couple with some little arguments from time to time.